Dear Friend,
I forgive you for not being your best. You have been through so much, and you haven't grown from the trauma of past hurts.
I forgive you for hurting me. You couldn't see beyond your own pain to give anyone else the love and acceptance you craved.
I forgive you for being lost, alone and scared. Though you may never admit it, you can't accept weakness in yourself or others.
I forgive you for keeping your secrets. I know how hard it is to trust, you couldn't see beyond those that had broken your confidence in the past.
I forgive you for keeping your distance. I could see right through you, and that can be scary.
I forgive you, I hope you find your way back.
Dear Friend,
I hold my head up and tell you what I have achieved, the look of respect is better than pity. I don't mention what it took to get here, the struggles you can't comprehend. I don't want to see charity or even worse, disbelief when I try to explain why it's so hard to get out of bed some days.
I tell you I feel fine when my whole body is hurting and I want to lie down and give up. I don't want your well meaning advice, I have tried so many different things to overcome the daily agony.
I hold my head high and tell you what you want to hear. I can't stand to listen to myself whine about my day to day struggle. I tell you I have it under control, even when I don't. This is normal for me, and I have been told again and again it's all in my head. Just try this pill, eat this food, exercise this way.
I hold my head up because I don't have a choice. I don't want your pity, I don't want to try to explain why this is a daily reality for me.
I hold my head up, and put one foot in front of the other. The alternative is to give into the pain, the struggle. I refuse to give in, I hold my head up and keep going.
Dear Friend,
Love is given, trust is earned.
To love you is easy, I see the joy you bring to your life and others close to you. You have a special place in my heart, a place not many reach. You didn't run when I showed you the cracks in my
faith. Someday I might trust you with the deepest fissures in my soul. You melt my resolve with your touch, you reveal my truth with your eyes.
We met when my heart was
breaking, and my spirit was torn. I thought my heart needed to be empty in order to mend. I
am truly blessed to have taken the time to reach out and find something
so precious. My life is richer with your presence, I
yearn for the days when I catch a glimpse of your smile and feel your
arms around me.
There is relief in knowing my heart can be full while keeping it safe
from breaking again.
Just because I love you doesn't mean I trust you with my essence. I am learning to trust myself, knowing I can hold steady and observe until intentions become clear. I am learning that I can take a calculated risk and not lose it all on a long shot.
My trust is saved for a season when you earn it, the price is time and effort. I watch, I learn, I observe how you are with me and others. Time and experience can show more than words, showing me how you choose to live in the world.
